I want to speak to you, in this article, not as a pastor, but as a father. This week, we sent our last child off to college. We came home to a house that somehow had changed while we were gone. It now seems bigger, quieter, emptier. The laughter of children, the horseplay of teenagers, the hustle and bustle of life with kids at home suddenly is only an echo of bygone days. Our kids are all grown up. They have chosen paths that have taken them from the nest and like all little birds, they have learned to fly and now they are experimenting with the new concept of freedom. The opportunities of the world lie before them and we are so proud of them.

But the role of a father has now changed. Now I am a father from afar. Now, in a big empty house, I have time to reflect over the years. In some ways, I wish I had some do-overs. Reflection does not come without some regrets. Regrets of lost time, missed opportunities, longing for more of those father-son or father-daughter moments. But those missed moments are past. I now cherish the moments we had. Lessons have been learned. Love has been given. Values have been instilled. The chicks have left the nest. They are now flying on their own. I can only pray and hope that we have prepared them well.

There are some fathers out there who still have kids at home; children you are still nurturing and teaching and building precious father-child relationships. Don’t take this time for granted. Cherish the special moments. Don’t let unimportant stuff distract you from talking with your kids, doing special things together, including teaching them about God. I miss those bedtime chats when the kids were eager to talk about their life. I miss hanging out together.

A successful businessman came to the end of his life. When asked if he had any regrets about how he spent his life, it wasn’t that he wished he could have made more money, or climbed higher on the ladder of success, or if he could have had bigger houses or more toys. His greatest regret was that he didn’t spend more time with his family. For many fathers, there are still a lot of opportunities to spend more time with your family, doing stuff with your kids, or just hanging out. There are very few greater gifts you can give to your children than love and time. Don’t let anyone fool you that quality time is better than quantity, as an excuse that you only have to give your kids a few minutes. Any regrets I have had in hindsight have everything to do with both quantity and quality. Our kids need both. We need both.

One of the greatest legacies I desired to instill in my kids is love for God and serving Him, and love for one another. Now they have “left the nest” and are “out there in the world” and “on their own,” but I have a peace about entrusting them into God’s care. I know He loves them even more than I do. And He loves you and your kids too. God helps us as parents raise our kids and He will be with and help our kids “out there” in the world too. I now look forward to their phone calls and visits and am eager to see how well they are doing bearing the divine fruit of what we have taught them at home. God bless all you dads out there!

Dan Wiese is the pastor of John Day Church of the Nazarene.