Domestic Violence (DV) is a pattern of coercive behaviors (physical abuse, sexual abuse or threats of the same) used to maintain power and control over the other person. Domestic violence is a hard subject to talk about, but cannot be ignored because of the effect it has on our families, friends and community as a whole.

Historically, domestic violence has been considered a family problem, not something to be addressed by non-family members or the justice system. Because of this, it is an under-reported crime.

Victims of domestic violence learn to excuse the abuser’s behavior by blaming themselves, thinking “If I had just had dinner ready” or “If I hadn’t asked that question,” the abuse wouldn’t have happened to me. However, domestic violence is a selfish choice the abuser makes, and is not caused or justified by the victim’s behavior.

Domestic violence is frequently used as a means of exercising control over another person. Many victims of abuse experience feelings of shame and guilt. We can help victims by providing a friendly, nonjudgmental ear. It is important to let victims know they are not alone, and that help is available to them and their abuser.

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, information regarding available resources will be distributed throughout the community. The district Attorney’s Victim Assistance Program (541-575-4026) is available to answer any questions you many have, as is HEART of Grant County (541-575-4335), a nonprofit Domestic Violence agency.

No one deserves to be abused. Domestic violence affects the whole community. There is always a better choice. Let’s take the necessary steps to begin to rid our community of domestic violence.

Teresa Cowing is with the Grant County Victim Assistance Program.