“It’s not ‘cheating,’ it’s making your own advantages!” my family used to laugh all the time — often when my grandpa was cheating at a game. Not that he would ever actually cheat — he’d just play his advantages right to win. Like “accidentally” knocking over a Scrabble board as the game was winding down and his daughter was obviously ahead. Even if it’s an honest mistake, like miscalculating a harvest paycheck in the Farming Game, someone will be quick to tease, “Making your own advantages again, are we?”

It’s a fun twist of perspective. This year we learned another twist on perspective: advancing to the rear — which is not the same as surrender.

The year has spun past in a blur. Farming, writing, homeschool and animals. There were some days we seemed to be running laps to keep those balls in the air. We’ve always been able to “squeeze in a bit more,” but this year things we were so tight, we were as successful as a vegan food truck at an NRA convention. Something had to go. We’d already limited sleep, and our sit-down meals in the summer were really just kneeling around cracked watermelon with pocketknives.

I was listening to a podcast while doing office work one day, and it it was talking about the difference between a housekeeper and a homemaker. A housekeeper keeps the house, while a homemaker makes that house a home. The speaker went on to say that both were important — but it was the homemaker who kept the household together. The talk went on waxing eloquent about many things, I’m sure. But my brain skipped that statement over and over, like a crack on a vinyl record: a housekeeper keeps the house, while homemaker makes that house a home.

Advancing to the rear. No white flags here. Maybe a white glove or two — but definitely not a surrender flag. That was the best tactical decision I may have ever made, as my time for housework seemed limited to sweeping the room with a glance and noticing that the dust was protectively coating the furniture. And while my husband has amazing talents, he won’t be of help until John Deere makes a riding vacuum cleaner or Mikita comes out with a dishwasher.

Everyone always says that cleanliness is next to godliness. But Erma Bombeck, one of my favorite columnists, disagreed. “Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven!”

It took us a bit to find our perfect person to advance to the rear with. But it was love at first sight. Imagine working all day in the field and coming back at 0-dark-thirty to a house so sparkling you can see your reflection on the floor. The extra stress melted away, and our balls suddenly seemed to juggle a bit higher with less effort — I can totally see the benefit of a wife!

Late one evening, my littlest came running into the living room to show us he’d just lost another tooth. “OK, let’s get that into a cup of water, so the tooth fairy can come,” I smiled.

“Why? The tooth fairy isn’t real,” my son argued with a sudden bite to his voice.

I was surprised. We’d never said the tooth fairy was real, it was just a fun tradition. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, the tooth fairy didn’t come for my last tooth,” he stated. “I put my tooth in it, filled it with water and set it on my dresser — it sat there for several days, and Kelly dumped it out last week when she came to clean!”

The housekeeper had proven the tooth fairy a myth. There had to be an allegory in there somewhere. I stood there like a deer in the headlights for a second before responding. “Honey, the tooth fairy only comes to the kitchen. I bet if we put your tooth in the kitchen window, he’ll come back.”

The next morning, as I dumped the tooth and water down the toilet and replaced it with coins, I think it’s almost cheating how much easier life is with a housekeeper. I filled the glass back up with water and set it in the windowsill. Advancing to the rear definitely has its advantages!