4 generations … 1 house full of love
Published 5:00 pm Sunday, March 29, 2009
- <I>File photo</I><BR>Vickie Harrison, middle, at the Fall Market with her family that she cares for and lives with.
JOHN DAY – When asked about her busy and crowded household, Vickie Harrison at first just laughed and said, “It’s a real blessing.”
She also said, “I’ve always heard that when you laugh, the world laughs with you and when you cry, you cry alone.”
“So I might as well laugh.”
At 46, Harrison lives with her grandmother, Marjorie Wilfong, age 92; her own daughter Crystal Mills; and Mills’s two young children, Ashlee, 15 months and Jason, 2 months.
And all five are making it work together in a single-wide mobile home that Harrison owns.
“We just all love each other through not only the good times but the bad ones, too,” Harrison said.
That doesn’t mean there are no downsides and stresses, but for the most part, she said, “We just have so much love.”
As far as caring for the young ones goes, “I’ve always heard that if you could be a grandparent first, you’d be able to be a better parent to your own children,” Harrison said.
“I’m just not as frustrated now. And I can already see ahead to phases like the ‘terrible twos’ with the kids,” she added.
Harrison said that she feels as if she has more patience and more understanding at this stage of her life, which helps all around to being able to be there for everyone’s needs, not just the young ones, but for her daughter and grandmother too.
Harrison, whose own mother was just 16 when she was born, was partly raised by her grandmother back in Illinois.
“I’m just so happy to be able to care for her now,” Harrison said.
She moved with her children to John Day from Orlando, Fla., in 1999, with a friend and her children.
Wilfong moved in with her just over three years ago, with Mills and young Ashlee joining the household last September. Baby Jason made his arrival a couple of months ago.
Harrison’s other daughter, Tiffany, and her husband, Tim Shafer are close at hand and a big help, too. They live just down the street in another trailer that Harrison owned and sold to them.
Despite the noise and demands of running such a houseful, Harrison is closing in on a bachelor’s degree in liberal arts through EOU, with a focus on anthropology, sociology and health services.
She’s been pursuing the degree for about five or six years and is reaching her goal thanks to help from financial aid and the convenience of distance education classes.
Harrison plans to return to a part-time secretarial job at the Grant Education Services District office. To make some of the rest of their ends meet, her daughter receives money from WIC (Women, Infants and Children).
Wilfong also contributes to the household in her own way.
Crocheting since she was 5 years old, she makes all sorts of items such as baby items, blankets, afghan sets, hats, dishcloths and place mats. She sells them at local bazaars and also donates some to community groups. And now she’s been handing down her crocheting talent to great-granddaughter Crystal.
The family was featured in October 2008 in a Blue Mountain Eagle story about the Grant County Fairgrounds’ Fall Market.
Harrison’s goal is to eventually be able to run some kind of a day-care home for older people, ideally offering one-on-one care. “I believe it’s just so good if you can dedicate yourself and your love to just one person,” Harrison said.
While nursing homes and assisted living care centers might work for some families, it’s not for them.
“The one thing I promised to my grandmother was that no matter what, she would not be in a nursing home,” Harrison said.
She contacted the Department of Health Services for assistance and advice through their Seniors and People with Disabilities program. She also obtained her Relative Foster Home certification through DHS, enabling her to receive access to even more help and services.
But overall, Harrison said that it’s the help from her faith and those dear to her that has gotten her through.
“Without God, friends and family, I wouldn’t be able to survive.”
“I always knew it would be hard,” she said, “but God has blessed me with a lot of love.”